Don’t give up: Dennis Hollis’s story

“It’s lonely. It takes a lot of effort and time to get through a day.”

This is the daily reality of living with dementia for Dennis Hollis. At 84, the Coquitlam resident has accepted his diagnosis and is determined to control how he lives – and that’s to give dementia a positive spin.

Dennis has always been active and social, having grown up playing tennis, hockey, soccer and baseball. He met his wife Tim through work; she was the CEO based in Vancouver while he worked on the Sunshine Coast. Today, they face Alzheimer’s disease as a team. “We’re like a tag team,” Dennis says.

He was diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s disease in September 2019. At first, he didn’t think there was anything wrong but eventually started to question things. “I was very troubled with my thinking,” says Dennis. “I don’t like change and surprises – I don’t handle them well.”

Although he’s focused on living positively with the disease, there are times when Dennis finds it increasingly difficult. He’s coping with five particular challenges: loss of memory, loss of control, fear of losing the ability to drive, being able to concentrate and ultimately being a burden to his wife.

That last point weighs heavily on him. “It puts added pressure and extra burden on the people you love,” he says. Still, he emphasizes how essential caregivers like Tim are. “Without them, I would be lost.”

But Tim isn’t caring for Dennis alone. He has a whole supportive community, including his three daughters, his sons-in-law and grandchildren. In addition, Dennis has joined one of our early-stage support groups, where he found understanding and connection. “Hearing people’s stories, the light bulb goes on,” he says. “It just doesn’t get much better than that – they really understand what we’re going through.”

In his support groups, he’s not shy about being vocal and expressing his compassion. “That’s what they’re about – sharing our own stories,” says Dennis. “We’re all different but it’s about finding the similarities.”

Despite being a social person, Dennis admits dementia can feel isolating. “When I’m in a group, I can’t concentrate on a conversation. That’s when I feel lonely.” Still, he continues to stay active – walking, playing snooker, trying Aquafit for the first time and playing the accordion daily.

Dennis knows this journey isn’t easy. “I’ve come to accept that I’m not going to beat it,” he says. But his message remains for everyone else living with the disease: “Don’t give up.”