Dancing with Dementia
Dancing With Dementia
Five things that break my heart when caring for my dad
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His shirt, a vegetable hued Jackson Pollock, because it doesn’t align with my memory of the father who lined up our shoes for polishing every single night, ironed his shirts until they wouldn’t dare submit to the ignominity of a wrinkle and who even my teenaged friends deemed the best dressed man in Sault Ste. Marie.
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His reaction when he sees the leaves turning and behaves as if this is something he has never seen before because it speaks to the breadth of what he has forgotten and his childlike reaction serves to diminish my memory of this accomplished captain of industry, celebrated worldwide for his contributions
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When he tells me that I can’t stay long because his daughter Jane is coming to visit, because it means that my face has been subsumed by the cacophony of faces passing through his life in the institution he calls home.
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Telling me that he is catching a boat to India that night with his mother because it speaks to a mind so broken that he can no longer discern between reality and memory.
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Asking the twenty something PSW if she would join him in bed because the man I knew was proper to the point of prudishness, always appropriate, never wanting to give offence. This new dad would horrify the man I knew.
Five Things That Make My Heart Sing When Caring for My Dad
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His shirt, a vegetable hued Jackson Pollock, because he loves eating and continues to sustain himself both with his food and with his delight in it
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His reaction when he sees the leaves turning and behaves as if this is something he has never seen before because he has the gift of looking at the world through the eyes of a child and appreciating it’s marvels anew day after day.
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When he tells me that I can’t stay long because his daughter Jane is coming to visit, because it means that the cacophony of faces passing through his life have the singular trait of caring for him as much as I do.
- Telling me that he is catching a boat to India that night with his mother because it speaks to a mind that can create anticipation and joy today, fashioned by memories of his 4-year-old self.
- Asking the twenty something PSW if she would join him in bed because it means there is life in the old boy yet.
By: Jane Ellens in honour of my Dad, Sam