“The Alzheimer Society of York Region helped our family when we needed it most.”
Newmarket resident shares her almost 40-year history with the organization that supports people impacted by dementia.
Newmarket resident Elizabeth de Faria and her family have been connecting to the Alzheimer Society of York Region (AS York) from information and support for almost 40 years.
This year, AS York marks 40 years of serving York Region residents impacted by dementia.
In 1986, just as AS York began, de Faria was helping her mom, Frances, provide care to de Faria’s grandmother, Ivy Trench, who was living with multi-infarct dementia. Ivy attended a DAY program in Newmarket and Frances received information, support and a listening ear from staff, something that was hard to find at the time. De Faria said her mom built a strong relationship with the staff and fundraised on behalf of the organization.
Twenty-five years later, de Faria’s dad, Antonio, also needed support and Frances was once again provided help in multiple ways.
Fast forward almost 40 years and de Faria has once again turned to AS York for advice and support, this time as she cares for her mom who lives with frontotemporal/mixed dementia.
De Faria is AS York’s Honorary Family for the 2026 IG Wealth Management Walk for Alzheimer’s taking place Saturday, May 30 at Lake Wilcox Park in Richmond Hill.
“To this day, I’ve never told her (mom) that she had dementia because of our past with my grandmother and dad,” de Faria said. “My heart tells me she would automatically go downhill. I didn’t have it in me to tell her so directly.”
De Faria said she visits her mom every day in the nursing home where Frances now lives, helping her eat, comforting her, and making sure her mom knows she is loved.
“I do everything I can to create moments of joy—singing, joking, being silly, trying to lift even a sliver of the darkness dementia has wrapped around my mom’s once-sunny nature. I am determined to bring light into her fading world.”
Frances was born and raised in England. She came to Canada in 1958 with her future husband, Antonio. De Faria said her mom was a happy, kind and giving person. She was a homemaker, raising Richard, Stephen, Elizabeth and David. Frances loved music and playing piano and was the parish organist at St. John Chrysostom in Newmarket for 45 years. She also sold Avon for 40 years.
After de Faria’s dad died in 2014 after a battle with progressive supranuclear palsy, a rare brain disease, de Faria said she noticed her mom seemed sad and depressed. De Faria said she assumed her mom was grieving but a referral to a Southlake geriatric doctor in 2019/2020 confirmed her mom was living with dementia.
“I was devastated. Mom and I were teammates, caregiving for my grandma and my father. Who would be my teammate now?”
De Faria said she once again turned to AS York for support, first visiting the website, where she found more information about the disease, and then connecting with a social worker and attending support groups.
“Staff at AS York are the experts. No one understands dementia better than them. They have compassion and empathy beyond compare. They know how you feel when no one else does. They understand everything. Because of that, you feel instant comfort and have a new calm, knowing you are no longer alone. They are with you every step of the way.”
A year after Frances’ diagnosis, de Faria said her mom moved in with her. Her mom attended the Aurora DAY program, going twice a week, and de Faria said she received incredible caregiver support.
But after that first year, de Faria began to struggle as her mom began to constantly shadow her, never leaving her side and refusing anyone else’s help. De Faria cared for her mom, while raising her three girls, Jennifer, Elise and Sylvia, and working.
“I was exhausted trying to cope. With my mom, everything became a ‘no’, she was never happy with any activities I tried to engage her in.”
In desperation, de Faria said she put her mom on the long-term care waitlist in May 2023, remembering the words the former AS York CEO told her mom when she was exhausted by caring for de Faria’s grandmother: “’Look, it’s her or you’,” de Faria recalled. “Because you have a family of your own to look after, too’.”
Once she moved her mom into a care home, de Faria said she spoke the same words to her mom that her mom spoke to de Faria’s grandmother: “I will travel this path with you. I will not leave you to stray.”
This year has been another challenging year for de Faria, who moved her mom from one care home into long-term care home.
“Through every chapter, every heartbreak, every impossible choice, I speak to the profound relief that comes from having support when life becomes too heavy, and that the Alzheimer Society of York Region helped our family when we needed it most. Nearly 40 years ago we began our journey with the Alzheimer Society of York Region, and we are still utilizing and cherishing their invaluable help today.”