Spending Time Together: How to Support a Friend Living with Dementia
Spending time with friends can be wonderful and refreshing, but for a person living with dementia, planning activities can be overwhelming. Here are some practical tips to help you make plans with your friend who is living with dementia.
Respect their preferences
Your friend is still the same person; consider the ways you have previously enjoyed spending time together. While you may not be able to do the exact same things you used to, you may be able to adapt those activities to be more accessible.
Limit choices
As your friend experiences cognitive changes, making choices that were previously simple can become more difficult.
If you are trying to decide what to do or where to go, provide your friend with multiple options to choose from. Ensure that the options presented are things they are interested in or enjoy.
I.e., "Do you want to go to Restaurant 1 or Restaurant 2?" "Would you like to go for a walk or do a craft?" "Do you want to listen to ABBA or Elton John?
Consider accessibility and timing
The accessibility needs for people living with dementia can change over time, with eyesight, mobility, balance, and hearing all potentially being impacted. When planning any outings or activities, keep your friend’s accessibility needs in mind.
Chat with your friend and their care partners about their accessibility needs if you are unsure of what they are. This can include asking what time of day is best for them to socialize. Generally, morning or early afternoon will be better for people living with dementia.
When going out with a friend who is living with dementia, try to choose places that offer accessible seating and avoid environments that are loud or crowded.
Take care of planning
If you will be going out somewhere with a person living with dementia, you should take responsibility for planning and coordinating the outing.
If you will be attending a program, event, or class that requires tickets or prior registration, take on the responsibility of registering or purchasing tickets.
- If you have physical tickets, hold onto them until you have arrived at the event and gone through the ticket line.
If you will be gathering outside of the home of the person living with dementia, work with them and their care partner to coordinate transportation.
- If the person living with dementia will be meeting you somewhere, ensure they have clear, written instructions on when and where to meet you, how they will get there, and how they will travel home. Ensure you arrive before them.
Use reminders and check-ins
Your friend and their care partners may need to be reminded of your plans—especially if they are made far in advance. Reach out to your friend and their care partners periodically ahead of your plans.
Use these reminders as an opportunity to check in with your friend and their care partners to get an idea of how they are doing physically and emotionally.
Be flexible
Be adaptable! Things can change drastically from day to day. Meet your friend where they are on any given day—even if it means that things may need to be different from what was originally planned.