A letter to dementia

Dear dementia, 

We’ve been in a relationship for several years now. My family suggests it may have been longer as it took me a while to be convinced to visit a specialist for an exploratory assessment. That assessment quickly identified you as my new (if somewhat unwelcome) companion. 

My mild acceptance of our introduction somewhat surprised me. It pleased my family who had been concerned about how I might react to this new imposition in my otherwise rather sedate lifestyle in my senior years. 

My reaction to your presence surprised me as well: no anger, no tears and about 90-seconds of self-pity. Then an acceptance of what this “new normal” might mean, and how I might navigate this new chapter. My biggest question (that only I could answer) was, “Now what?” 

I had the benefit of learning from my mother and her 17-year relationship with you.  

I have the benefit of the full-hearted support of my family, extended family and friends in a way one could never expect, but only dream of… no denial, no debate. A certain hopeful resignation to be cultivated over the next few years of prolonging the energy I still possess. Your presence has encouraged my return to rather vigorous physical activity, and the gym membership is as helpful a mood-boost as any shot of vitamins.  

I picked up a stringed instrument for the first time in over five decades. A little old ukulele for the memories and the music I recall from years ago. Nimble fingers I have not. But it is fun.  

I cannot say I’m angry or resentful of your presence in my life. My life is still my own. And my brain is still my most precious resource. And my shortcomings reveal themselves more openly as time goes on. You might find me more than a handful.  

So, I’ll walk with you and see how it goes. And work around or resist any issues you have with me or I with you. Fate has brought us together, but I warn you: mess with my mind if you will, but you will have to sleep with one eye open.  

Sincerely,  

Your new traveling companion, Fred  

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About the author 

Fred Keating from Maple Ridge, B.C., has been living with MCI for several years. He has worked in Media as a writer, has volunteered as part of the Maple Ridge Historical Society and various media-oriented organizations and is also an Affiliate Member of the local Royal Canadian Legion. Fred is also a prolific actor. He is currently navigating his “new normal” of living with an MCI diagnosis, in part by becoming involved with the Society’s Lived Experience Partner Program and UBC’s IDEA Lab.