Alzheimer's Awareness Month 2025: Meet Jerry and Lyle

Lyle Isenor is the kind of person you immediately feel comfortable with, sincere and thoughtful in his words. This could just be his personality, or it could be due to the subject of our conversation: his wife Jerry, who is living with Alzheimer’s disease. Lyle and Jerry can often be found at Kelowna’s craft and farmers markets – not as customers, but as vendors selling Lyle’s beautiful artisan woodwork.

Jerry was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2019, although Lyle suspects it began at least two years before that. After noticing changes in Jerry’s memory, they spoke with their GP who told them to hold off on further testing.

“The doc said if we did psychological tests right then, with her IQ she'd still come out as above average,” Lyle says.

Jerry put that intelligence to use during her career as an accountant. A carpenter-turned-businessman, Lyle notes that being married to one of the top accountants in the city meant he never had to deal with banking – until Jerry’s disease progressed and he had to take over management of their finances.

“She always looked after everything. I didn’t even know how to log into online banking, “Lyle says. “It was like starting a new job with a whole new set of things you have to learn.”

Taking on different household roles was just one of many new things Lyle and Jerry had to learn, so Lyle reached out to the Alzheimer Society of B.C. for support. Staff on the First Link® Dementia Helpline answered his questions and guided him to the support he needed in his community.

“I was desperate. I was at the end of my rope. I called the Helpline and spent probably 40 minutes on the phone,” Lyle says. “It was lifesaving.”

Soon after, Lyle and Jerry began attending webinars and in-person workshops. “The Alzheimer Society of B.C. is very good at orienting the caregiver to the information they need,” Lyle says.

He also notes the benefit of connecting with other caregivers at the caregiver support group he attends.

“Being in a room with a bunch of other people in the same boat is glorious. It’s reaffirming and reassuring,” Lyle says. “Until you've experienced it, you can't really empathize. Sometimes Jerry asks me what’s for supper 63 times. The 64th time just drives me crazy. When you're with other people and you say, ‘the 64th time’ and they go ‘God, yes, I know,’ it's an incredibly powerful experience.”

Finding an understanding community has been invaluable to Lyle and Jerry, a contrast to the isolation they sometimes feel. Friends and family sometimes invite Lyle out but ask him to come alone. Jerry was even asked to find a new hair salon after the one she visited for years was sold and the new management didn’t want people living with dementia in their establishment.

While it can be discouraging to see prejudice in our communities, the Alzheimer Society of B.C. knows that with education, family members, friends and businesses can show incredible support and understanding. The organization’s Dementia-Friendly Communities initiative focuses on stigma reduction and the inclusion of people living with dementia in the places they work, live and play.  

Life didn’t end after Jerry’s diagnosis. Lyle and Jerry were thrilled when they connected with Elite Cruises, a dementia-friendly travel group with whom the Isenors have travelled several times now. Most recently, Lyle and Jerry visited the Fjords in Norway. When they’re not travelling, Lyle and Jerry love to get outside and ride their bikes together.

“Her health is great,” Lyle says. “She's more active than me.”

Throughout her life, Jerry has been active in the community – volunteering at church, the local mission and with Arion Therapeutic Riding. As Lyle notes, she’s still always willing to help.

“Nurturing, loving and giving – that's who she is,” Lyle says. “I was never nurturing. But this has taught me a whole other dimension of patience and understanding. It's opened another side of my personality.”

Patience is the key, according to Lyle. While some of Jerry’s behaviour may be challenging, it’s imperative to remember that it’s the disease, not the person.

“You know they are going to say ****. Get over it,” Lyle says. “They’re still the magnificent person that they always were.”