Alzheimer's Awareness Month 2025: Meet Pat

When Pat Hanrath visits her mother, Anna, at her care home in Whitehorse, Yukon, she often brings a treat. One day, she brought Timbits.  When Pat offered the box to her mom, her mother’s face lit up as she made her choice and put it in her mouth. When she finished eating, Pat offered another and again, her mother’s face lit up as she picked another one.

“What amazed me is that I repeated this exchange with all seven Timbits and I got the same reaction each time” Pat says. “Most of the time, the staff all think she’s the sweetest thing since sliced bread.”

Like many Canadians, Pat’s mother lives with mixed dementia combining Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. She was diagnosed in 2015, four years before Pat walked with her into the care home.

“I watch out for my mom, the same way she always watched out for me,” Pat says.

Pat’s parents immigrated from the Netherlands to Ontario in 1958, where they raised Pat and her brother, Gary. Although they didn’t have much money, Pat remembers her mother spending hours making beautiful outfits with remnants from fabric stores and nurturing Pat’s love of gymnastics – a sport her mother competed in across Europe. She describes her mother as kind, strong and resilient.

In 1981, Pat and her husband Joe moved to the Yukon, to pursue a career in forestry. They moved around for seven years - from Watson Lake to Dawson City, eventually settling in Whitehorse in 1988, where they raised their four children. Having her grandchildren on the other side of the country was hard for Anna.

“She was sad because she couldn’t be the grandma she’s always wanted to be,” Pat says. “She would send huge parcels with clothes and wrapped gifts for birthdays – she didn’t want anyone to feel left out. That’s the kind of person my mom is.”

When Pat’s father passed away in 2003, Pat’s mother accepted an invitation to move out west and live with her son in B.C.

“At 70 years-old, she took her dog and as many things she could fit in her car and drove across Canada,” Pat says. “How’s that for fortitude?”

Living with her son proved challenging, so in 2010, Pat and Joe invited Anna to move to the Yukon. Joe drove down to Hope, packed up her things and helped her move in to a condominium they’d bought for her in Whitehorse. Pat was happy to have her mother living close to her after so many years, but it wasn’t long before they started noticing concerning changes.

“She started having falls and fainting,” Pat says. “I wasn’t sure if it was because she was drinking too much or if something else was happening, but we were worried. A mobile home became available next to ours, so we bought it and moved her closer to us.”

Anna was happy living next to Joe and Pat. There was room for her dog to run around and she loved spending time in the garden. Unfortunately, having her closer didn’t do much to assuage their concerns. They noticed she’d have big reactions to minor incidents and started acting paranoid, at times accusing Joe of staring in her window.

When senior housing became available closer to town after six years on a waiting list, Joe and Pat helped her move into a ground level apartment where she was closer to the grocery store, pharmacy and restaurants. It was good timing too. Not long after she moved in, she had to give up her driver’s license.

She lived in her new home for over a year before Pat’s concerns intensified. Anna was having dangerous lapses in judgement, leaving food to burn on the stove, getting lost in familiar places and not taking her medication as prescribed. Pat’s mother — who had always been so kind — was angry.

“I think anxiety was causing the anger,” Pat says. “She knew there was something going on. There were times when I just wanted to walk away because I didn’t want to be yelled at anymore just for trying to help.”

Pat spoke with their family doctor. Informed by several cognitive assessments and observations from Pat and home care staff, Anna was formally diagnosed with mixed Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. With support from home care nurses and a social worker, Pat’s mother continued to live alone for a while, but it wasn’t long before Pat had to think about next steps.

“She started smoking like crazy after giving up the habit for over 30 years,” Pat says. “She was drinking a lot and often had bruises on her face from falls.”

Pat tried on several occasions to speak with her mom about moving to a care home and suggested visiting one to see what they were like, but she refused. After several more concerning incidents, Pat spoke with their social worker and her mom’s doctor and together they made the difficult decision to move her mother into a care home.

“It was the hardest thing in the world to do because I didn’t want to make decisions for her,” Pat says. “What I tried to do and continue to try to do is ask myself, ‘If mom was in her right mind, what would she say? How would she manage the situation?’ I try to use that as my guide.”

The day Pat walked with her mom into the care home will stay with her forever. Under the guise of a scheduled appointment and an ice cream cone as incentive, Pat convinced her mother to get into the car with her and they drove to her new home.

“When she realized what was happening, she was so angry with me,” Pat says. “After letting mom absorb what was happening the staff took me outside the unit door and I started to cry. They put their hands on my shoulders and let me know she’d be okay. I told them, ‘I’m not upset because she’s here. I’m grateful because now I know she’ll be safe.’”

Her mother wouldn’t speak to her for five and a half weeks. The transition was incredibly hard on Pat, but fortunately, she had lots of support to help her process the changes. The care home staff helped her and her mom adjust, she accessed a counselling program through the Yukon government and she connected with other caregivers in a support group facilitated by a local volunteer trained by the Alzheimer Society of B.C.

“It was my opportunity to speak to someone other than my husband and my kids,” Pat says. “We all shared what we were going through and people really seemed to listen and respond with kindness. Sharing with the group taught me two things: one – I was not alone and two – I could get through this.”

As other caregivers will understand, caregivers do not give up their role when their person moves into a care home. Pat speaks highly of the care her mother receives but understands that due to the high demands of health-care providers and Pat’s personal knowledge of her mom, she must continue advocating for her mom.

“I think of all my mom’s care providers – myself included - as parts of a wheel,” Pat says. “My mom is the hub and we are the spokes holding hands to create a wheel. We don’t want a flat tire. If one person doesn’t carry their weight, the journey gets bumpy. But if we work together to provide the support my mom needs, the wheel turns smoothly.  It feels good to know they consider me part of that wheel.”

Pat loves the slower pace of life in Whitehorse but living so far north provides some challenges. She feels lucky to have found an in-person support group and a care home for her mother not too far from her home, but she wishes there were more in-person education opportunities that guided people affected by dementia through what to expect on the journey and more in-home services that might have helped her mother live independently longer.

Having to care for the person who raised you is never easy, but Pat takes solace in knowing that after so many tumultuous years, her mother is safe and happy. “That’s one thing I’m happy about. She doesn’t remember what she can’t do anymore; she just lives in the moment.”